Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence?
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| High Concept Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence? |
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Saturday, July 12, 2003 Topple Government Child Translated Delay As much as I hate Spam, I appreciate that the makers have hired surrealists to craft their headers. The above is an actual email I received today. The body of the message is an ad for penile enlargement, and I'm trying to figure out if that's the "topple government" part. Some of the spam I get at work have text at the bottom some of which is some creepy form of mystical language like: lmwzajc sswigoj eyxm hxxwrxnjrol u znrg ctki irzipj cdin ltqbl vhumccvtxafevxi (one string of it started: perceptionprepositionbs, and I'm now wondering if that's what that line of text is known as to spammers: perception preopositions.) But I sort of miss the good ol' days when that stuff was usually complete, albeit disconnected sentences. One example of which, "So you think you're going to pop the question?" "With an axe, Joe!" still continues to haunt me.Another creation of surrealists which continue to haunt me? Circus peanuts: those odd things that looked like soap, felt like pencil erasers, and tasted like sugared bus seats. On my way back from lunch, I dropped into a W**gr**ns with (1) the intention of picking up a Hostess product. Fortunately, I managed to talk myself out of a Hostess product by walking myself over to the freezer section with promises of a (2) ice cream bar. Fortunately, on the way to the ice cream section, I noticed that they had (3) diet vanilla coke, and realized I could get all the syrupy, cringe-inducing sugar I craved in a (relatively) dietary manner. Unfortunately, while waiting in the interminable line to the checkout, I started fixating on the rows of cheap mass-produced candies they had below and in front of the cash registers, and ended up walking out with (4) a bag of circus peanuts. I love the smell of these things. Ironically, they are filled with the very thing (high fructose corn syrup) I switched to diet sodas to avoid. Ho, ho, ho! Those wacky surrealists! They have tricked me again! All this talk has got me thinking: what if, in some nearby, dystopic future, you had a company that gave away free food, but encoded the food with information? You could eat a relatively stable diet and not starve, but in return you were bombarded with high-power advertising for products you couldn't afford, continuing to keep you maxing out your credit cards and reliant on the free food to survive. Doesn't sound quite right, does it? Doesn't sound quite as interesting as the real world, where the United States offers free food to struggling countries in the form of genetically modified organisms, and then threatens to withhold funds for other programs if they don't take it (info I came across here). There are GMOs that are genetically modified to be sterile (keeping the buyer dependent on the seller of the seeds each season)--how hard is it to imagine GMOs that would make the consumer sterile (two or three generations down the line, so as to avoid suspicion). This is how I channel my disappointment at purchasing crappy food--creating paranoid apocalyptic scenarios. Classy. posted by Jeff Lester | 3:51 PM | |
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