Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence?
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| High Concept Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence? |
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Monday, May 24, 2004 The Pitch: It's like Airplane meets Top Secret! So....we're flying tomorrow.Is anything still illegal to bring to the airport? I was just arranging my travelling cutlery collection and, y'know, I was just wondering... The last two days, instead of packing, I've been thinking about packing. And thinking of packing pretty much consists of trying to remember that Airport Security guy's line from Fight Club: "Nine times out of ten, it's an electric razor. But every once in a while...it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo--we always use the indefinite article, 'a dildo.' Never 'your dildo.'" I love that movie. More obsessive digital camera shopping/video game buying. Best Buy had Superman: Shadow of Apokolips for ninety-nine cents. On the one hand, I heard it was a crappy game. On the other--ninety-nine cents. Not like I have any taste in video games anyway. I pick up Playstation Magazine every month because I'm a complete and utter idiot (I could subscribe for the cost of, like, three issues, but I refuse to do it because each month I swear is my last issue) and out of a demo disc of dumb games, what do I end up playing over and over? That's right. The Transformers game. The Transformers are pretty much after my time--the whole robots-that-turn-into-trucks is just utterly absurd to me--but I heard okay things about the demo looking good. And yeah, the demo looks good. But I'll be god-damned if I don't play it three times a day just so I can turn my giant robot into a cool sports car and drive through the Amazon jungle. If you do it right, you can build up enough speed, launch, turn back into a robot in mid-air and kung-fu some evil robot in the head. I feel simultaneously elated (because of how cool it is) and ashamed (because of what an idiot man-child I am to enjoy it) every time I do it. In fact, in my short history of living with Edi, I have to say The Transformers is the only game I've been embarrassed to play in front of her. The other day, she was hanging out on the couch reading an essay by David Foster Wallace, and I was playing this demo and I was unbelievably humiliated when the command screens would come on because of the dumb-assedness of the pseudo-scientific speak: "Keep your optical sensors open for mini-cons wherever you can find them! But beware of evil decepticlones who will try their best to deplete your energons!" "Okay, okay," I started mashing buttons in the hope of skipping past the screen. "Jesus, shut up." I literally blushed with shame. To her credit, Edi either acted like she didn't notice, or else didn't notice. One more reason why I've been in the luckiest guy evar nominees for the past two and a half years. Will I blog from Portland? Place your bets! posted by Jeff Lester | 10:31 PM | |
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