Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence?
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| High Concept Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence? |
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004 The Pitch: It's like 9 to 5 Meets La Dolce Vita! Yep, I'm running off after work to go see La Dolce Vita again. And hopefully again tomorrow. That will make--three! Three times! Ah-ah-ah-ha-ha!--that I'll have seen the film in--five! five days! Ah-ah-ah-ha-ha! It will make me very happy.Work is kinda asstastic, although I really have myself to blame in a lot of very real ways. I've been here for almost--three! three hours! Ah-ah-ah-ha-ha!--and instead of trying to come up with the funny for the upcoming Fanboy Rampge, I've been reading over my old blog and sulking. Why, I'm not sure. Because I was funny then? Because I should have staged JeffFest 2004 this year and I didn't? Because instead of scaling mountains, and attending parties, and sipping sour apple martinis while cavorting in hot tubs, and disco dancing in cheesy bars in the Mission, I'm the sort of guy that would rather make time in his schedule to get to an attractively restored revival theater and watch Fellini's recreation of same? I haven't even bothered to describe last night's E.A. Poeish horror of a mouse (or rat!) trying to claw its way through our shower wall. As Edi tried not to throttle me in panic, I postulated that said mouse (or rat!) must have gotten stuck back there during that month-long sabbatical our bathroom ceilings and walls took while Duarte & Sonsabitches "fixed" things, and only now is poor mouse (or rat!) trying to get out because although there is plenty of water back there, there is hardly any food. I'd heard the mouse (or rat!) while using the commode at four a.m. a month or so ago, and hesitatingly told Edi who did her best to disbelieve. Now, however, there was nothing for our faithlessness to seize hold of: Edi cleaned the tub and two minutes later there were flecks of wood and paint by the drain. The rat (or mouse!) was trying to gnaw its way out using the weakest area, that right under the faucet head. Edi broke out a glue gun and jammed hot wax into the area, and I hoped that the poor starving thing (I have absolutely no proof for this theory which I am 100% certain of) would eat some of the hot glue and die. I am no big fan of dead animals, mind you, and less a fan of having something go bad behind the walls, but I am also less a fan of having a performance art piece called "Birth of The Modern Age" enacted by a wiggling rodent forcing its way out of a tiny hole in the shower wall while I'm pooping at 3:00 a.m. It may be great for the NEA, but it does nothing for me. After the fun with the glue gun, Edi and I went to bed and, later, went to the bathroom at 1:30 as a team--one person being the fount of support and bravery for the other. Huh. You know, I guess it's not surprising that I'm kind of a stinky mood, is it? posted by Jeff Lester | 10:21 AM | |
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