Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence?
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| High Concept Am I blogging...or am I pitching my existence? |
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005 The Pitch: It's like Frenzy meets Panic! Okay, I feel pretty good at the moment. I have no idea how I was able to get up this morning, but somehow I did, made it through the rain to BART, through the rain to the cafe, and wrote my little heart out. Now I'm only about two shy of the big 50k, and I'm kinda dying to cross that finish line.No dreams about Alan Moore and Battlestar Galactica, though. In other news, I think I'm going to get a livejournal account so I can more easily follow and comment on davel, robson's and my brothers' blogs. (Man, does everyone hate blogger, or what?) Something like work has crossed my threshold. I'll be back in a bit. posted by Jeff | 8:44 AM | Monday, November 28, 2005 The Pitch: It's like Battlestar Galactica! Meets Alan Moore! Okay, so I woke up at two a.m. last night from a very long dream in which I was reading a comic book adaptation of Battlestar Galactica written by Alan Moore. And it was rad!I doubt I'll be able to do it any justice whatsover and may have to stop writing any minute (since I'm at work and stuff) and, to be frank, the more I think about the comic, the less rad and the more, um, disturbing it seems, but nonetheless: So Alan Moore is hired to write this Battlestar Galactica comic and the first issue is, basically, all about Alan Moore being hired to write this Battlestar Galactica comic. The first thing he does is insist on complete and utter creative control which the editors grant him because he's, like, Alan Moore and stuff. The second thing he does is write himself into the storyline with this first issue. Because what he reveals to the editors of the book is that, as he and only a handful of people know, the Battlestar was wiped out before it reached Earth, the Cylons found Earth and took over, and then wiped the memory of their previous lives from themselves in order to fit in. Indeed, the end of the first issue shows everyone reading this first issue of Battlestar Galactica and realizing that they are, in fact, Cylons. End of issue one. Issue two of Battlestar Galactica (as written by Alan Moore) takes place three years after the first issue of Battlestar Galactica, and in it, Alan Moore is merely one cylon (albeit a sleeveless cylon) among a planet of now-awakened cylons who, realizing that all cylons are equal, have ceased oppressing one another and have created an ideal governmentless state where all live in happy and unity under the (one) eye of their (one) true Lord. Because everyone realizes they are really carefully crafted robots, they have begun cybernetically altering themselves, and so there are people that look like the robotic equivalents of Greek monsters--there's a cylon equivalent of a centaur, for example, whose bottom half is some sort of small tank, or a medusa, who is a human looking woman with flowing, curling fiber-optic cables for hair. In this brave new world (and here's where it gets weird), Alan Moore basically runs around and has sex with these half-human/half-tank cylon chicks, doing them from behind and at the crucial moment, implanting a hidden tech virus in them. And here's where we learn the craftiness of Alan Moore: this virus is implanting a rebellion virus in each of the cylons that he has sex with (and he is able to have sex with many, since he's the guy who freed cylonhood from their forgotten humanity) which they will go on to plant in all of the cylons they have sex with, and soon Alan Moore will be able have enough cylons under his control that he can stage a massive revolt which he compares to the War In Heaven. And so (and the extra layer of meaning will make sense to old school Battlestar fans), Alan Moore is essentially Lucifer, making plans to become the leader of Cylon Hell, which he will travel to in--ta-dah!--the newly restored Battlestar Galactica. End of issue two. Then I woke up, so there is no issue three. The most alarming thing about all this (for me, anyway--my wife, who is probably reading this and trying to figure out how to have me committed, would likely have a different opinion) is that in my waking life I'm forty-five thousand words into a novel that's degenerated to two guys in a kitchen making tea and trying to figure out what their real life Dungeons and Dragons stats would be. Or maybe the most alarming thing is that I'm thirty-nine and not fourteen. I can't decide. posted by Jeff | 8:31 AM | Sunday, November 27, 2005 The Pitch: It's like The Shining meets Run, Lola, Run! Christ, I'm behind.True, I'm not that far behind, mind you. Ideally, I should be at 45,000 or better and I'm at just a hair over 43k. But I have a headache, my head hurts, I'll be getting up at 5:30 tomorrow morning, it's a fucking arctic windtunnel in our apartment. Have you ever heard the expression "Lost the plot?" It is literally true in my case--I had a three page printout explaining what was going on in my rock band murder mystery and I lost the fucking thing a week ago. I suppose if I tired I could work myself up to a fair bit of paranoia if I wanted, but, frankly, any aspiring novel stealer who wants to have a go at this damn book, be my guest. I'm sick of the fucking thing. And unfortunately, since I won't be done at 50k, I'm going to have to keep working at it. Yes, this is my yoke: to keep at the book until finished. posted by Jeff | 9:31 PM | Monday, November 14, 2005 The Pitch: It's like Zombie meets Eddie & The Cruisers! Happily, my nanovel really doesn’t owe much to either Zombie or Eddie & The Cruisers, although I’m starting to think any story idea is greatly improved with the inclusion of, first, rock and roll bands and, then, zombies. (Rock and roll tour bus breaks down in Donner Pass, turns to cannibalism? Delightful! The rock and rock cannibals then become zombies? Sublime!)Alas, I only talk a good game. Once I come up with my hamstrung story idea and prop up my unlikely little characters, I’m loathe to change things once I set them in action. Unfortunately, I’m also loathe to have anything interesting even happen. This morning, for example, I put my protagonist and his likely love interest in the same house together—one’s worried about to what extent he’s responsible for the murders committed by someone in his road tour, the other’s worried about whether or not they might actually be in love with the other person and what that might or might not mean—and what do they discuss? Walmart! (Now, if the rock and roll tour bus had broken down during a snowstorm and had to take refuge in a Walmart? Delightful! And if the other people taking refuge from the storm had, by the time the rock and roll band and their entourage arrive, all become zombies? Sublime!) As I mentioned in my previous entry, I did indeed fall behind around day twelve. If I have a productive lunch hour, I may dig myself out from under. I hope so, because I’ve got a very busy week ahead of me with newsletter work and regular ol’ work-work competing for my time. How rampant overachievers do this sort of thing is beyond me. (Going home early and taking a nap? Delightful! Getting home and finding out my noisy next-door neighbor has been eaten by zombies? Sublime!) posted by Jeff | 12:02 PM | Saturday, November 05, 2005 The Pitch: It's like I Am Meets I Am Not! It's a few minutes after noon on Saturday. Sorry I haven't blogged since my strong initial recovery--I've been trying to keep a handle on Nano, plus the email list, plus work and a lot of extra socializing this last week. I should be writing but I'm not (except in this here post, which is where my creative title comes from).There are patterns to my Nano experience that I'm noticing over the years I've done it. On day three, I'll switch tenses. On day four, I'll fall behind but it won't be noticeable because I've built up a bit of a lead. On day five or day six, I'll catch up. Around day twelve, I'll fall behind. That's the part I'm really worried about because last year, I fell so far behind I gave up until the last five days. So, on the one hand, I'm incredibly driven to write as much as I can today, catch up and get ahead, and head off the inevitable upcoming conflicts from writing this month's newsletter, working a bunch of make-up time, dealing with holidays, etc., etc., that seems pretty inevitable. People bitch about Nano being during an inconvenient time of the year but I always liked the idea that if you could write this much during this month, you could write any time in almost any condition. On the other hand, I'm not writing. I'm waiting. I'll be at lunch in forty minutes and I figure I'll be writing then. But, you know, what if I'm not? Unfortunately, this sort of thing goes on in my brain all the time. posted by Jeff | 2:21 PM | Tuesday, November 01, 2005 The Pitch: It's like Gone In Sixty Seconds meets It Happened One Night! Nano's started.The last two mornings I've been up early but spent twenty minutes tweaking emaily type things at the computer. Still, I had approximately an hour to write this morning at the Starbucks, and have started this year's Nano adventure. And I have to say, it's going...slow. Yesterday's warm-up had me cracking the daily word count in forty minutes. Today, after an hour, I've got a hair under 1600 words which means I'll have to keep at it at lunch. In the past, I've really benefitted from an early strong start, getting two or even three days ahead in the first week and that really helps if I crank at least 2,000 words in the first day. But nope, not by now (and who knows? Maybe not by lunch, either...). I also started at the wrong place, I think, although I had to start it somewhere. I didn't want to start in the middle of a concert, and I didn't want to start at an afterparty but I didn't think it was particularly interesting to have the FBI guy talk to the band at the very beginning of it all, so--the tarmac and the jet, as the band leaves Osaka. Also, although smart enough to write down the plot-important tour dates, I didn't write down all the tour dates, so I have no idea where these people were flying to, and if they were going to do a show there or what. In other, actually interesting news, my birthday was a pip, thanks to my wonderful wife who took me to dinner and even drove home with a glass of wine in her, and was incredibly patient when I disappeared to the computer to coordinate all my pre-nano prep and emailery. I'm hoping the month won't be too much of a pain in the ass for her; she's had to put up with three other ones with me, so I hope she doesn't mind it too much by now. Hey, there's some work! Excuse me a second... posted by Jeff | 8:30 AM | |
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